I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
