I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
