Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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