you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
