Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
