Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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