It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
