i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
