can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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