It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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