wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
