As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
