You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
