We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
