Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
