he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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