Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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