i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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