at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
