Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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