If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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