I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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