I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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