i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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