I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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