I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
