My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
