i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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