did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
