operation harelip BJ is a go
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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