i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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