i think i have herpe
just one?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
