At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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