Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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