Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize