reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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