Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
