Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
