420 ftw
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
