Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
