I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
