mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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