But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
