I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
