stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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