just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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