he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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