I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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