Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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