hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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