Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
