The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
