she was so not down for the gang bang
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
