His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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