Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
