Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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