I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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