I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
