It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize