But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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