too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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