I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize