Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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