I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
