So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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