I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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