I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize