is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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