I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
